Okay, I'll Say It, "I Told You So!"

"Since they had been without food for a long time, Paul stood up among them and said, 'Men, you should have listened to me and not have set sail from Crete and incurred this loss.  Yet now I urge you to take heart, for there will be no loss of life among you, but only the ship'" (Acts 27:21-22, ESV).

Have you ever battled the temptation to tell someone, "I told you so!"?  I know I have.  For one reason or another people who seek advise rarely ever take it.  It seems to me that they are compelled to know the right course of action, so they can definitely not take it.  Your gracious words fall on their ears like a hammer on an anvil--they don't leave an impression.

Often times, we have to watch helplessly as their lives spiral out of control.  We warn and rebuke, gently and patiently, calling them to return to their senses.  Too often, these calls to repentance are also unheeded. Down and down they fall approaching terminal velocity as they near rock bottom.

The worry wears on you, and it feel like you have compassion fatigue.  You want to care for them, but you can't hardly get yourself to believe they'll change.  And somehow they survive hitting rock bottom, and ask you to help them put the pieces together.  In your frustration, you want to tell them, "I told you this would happen."  But you can't.  If you tell them, "I told you so," out of frustration, they won't hear you.  They'll only here your anger and seek help elsewhere.

But there is a place for graciously reminding your listeners of your previous wisdom and insight.  Just as Paul, gentle chides the boat's crew hear in Acts 27:21-22.  In essence, Paul tells them that if they had listen to him they would have experienced this loss.  He doesn't tell them this to strike back at them for their foolish rejection of his sage advise.  No, he does these to remind them of his wisdom.  What he said would happen did happen.  He knew what he was talking about, and they need to know that he knew.  Why?  Because Paul had another warning for them, one that would cost many lives if it wasn't heeded.

When you are tempted to stomp on some foolish person, who has failed to listen to your advice, with a great big "I told you so," think twice.  Are you doing it because you want them to acknowledge that they were wrong and you were right? Or are you doing it because you know they need to listen to what you are saying?  If you are trying to win the title of the world's "rightest" person, save your "I told you so."  If you are trying to spare them another fall and more devastating consequences, remind them gently, "Remember, when I tried to get you to listen before.  Friend, hear me now."