Finding More Favor

"Whoever rebukes a man will afterward find more favor than he who flatters with his tongue" (Prov. 28:23, ESV).

Proverbs express truths that are normally true, in most circumstance.  They are not absolute truths, or promises, that guarantee specific outcomes.  For instance, this proverb would not be true in the case of rebuking a fool (Prov. 17:10), or a scoffer (Prov. 13:1).  Nor would it be true in a case where the rebuke is misguide, that is, aimed at the wrong person or the wrong situation.

Rebuke is a biblical tool of change.  The wise yearn for it, for they know that they cannot always see things the way they are.  Our attitudes shape our opinions; they sometimes cloud our judgment.  It is helpful to have an "outside" opinion occasionally to help recalibrate our lives.

We should not understand the process of rebuking as undue harshness.  While there may be times that a rebuke must be delivered with harshness, it does not always have to be.  A rebuke points out an error in hopes that it will be corrected.  A rebuke acts a stop sign urging the listener to throw on the brakes.  It is better to rebuke from a genuine love and care for the person we are rebuking.

As we speak the truth in love, in generates appreciation in God's people.  Now the appreciation may not be immediate.  They may not hear our rebuke and then burst into the "Hallelujah Chorus."  There may be a time of anger that flows an initial rebuke, but in true believers it will pass.  Their anger will give way to gratitude as the Spirit works righteousness into their heart.

As their heart grows in gratitude, we see the truth of this proverb come to fruition.  When we perceive our error, and are able, by faith and repentance, to move past it, we esteem our rebuker more highly.  It is natural for believers to honor those who steer them back into the path of righteousness, whenever they have drifted.

Don't withhold correction from those to whom it is due.  Don't flatter when you should rebuke, no one will love you for it (except maybe a fool).  Don't be angry when you are rebuked, but rather rejoice in the knowledge that someone loves you enough to direct you back to the straight and narrow.  When was the last time you thanked someone for lovingly rebuking you?  Maybe you should think about thanking them.