All I Want for Christmas

As a child, I spent a great deal of time laboring over my Christmas list.  I spelled out in great detail the numerous items that I wanted.  I wanted almost everything I saw.  Of course, from the ages of four to twelve my list revolved around G. I. Joe (3 3/4 inch action figures).  Every year about twenty (or forty) Joes and eight (or ten) Cobras would hit the market.  Most boys in the 80's needed every G. I. Joe and every Cobra (they really need 10 or 20 of each Cobra soldier to even out the battle ratios).

We opened Christmas presents on Christmas Eve in my family.  Each year my I would start my Christmas list immediately after opening my last gift.  Usually, it included numerous G. I. Joes and Cobra soldiers that didn't make it under the tree.  However, it would grow at an ever increasing pace leading up until dinner on Christmas Eve.  Every year I would almost cry (sometimes I succeeded), because something was left off my list.  I scoop up my loot and go pout in my room, unsatisfied and ungrateful.

Writing these words shames in me.  Looking back on the spoiled brat I was (and still can be) I wish my parents efforts would have been more greatly rewarded.  It seems, looking back on it, it was never enough.  Ten or twenty G. I. Joes at $4 a pop was an expensive proposition, and that doesn't include the vehicles or non-Joe stuff I wanted.  Maybe my parents should have just given me a lump of coal, since I was going to pout anyway.  But that's not their style.  They're givers.

I would like to think that I have matured over the years.  I have struggled to become a gracious receiver, although at times I really fall short.  I don't struggle as much as I used to with the "want bug," but I still struggle too much.  At one time, I couldn't hardly pass a book without buying it.  Now, I try to make more responsible choices.  I want to be a good steward of all God has given me.  I want to have money to adopt again, to give to missions, and to help those in need.  I don't need another box of toys to stuff in storage or another stack of books (that one was hard to write).

I have been trying to answer the question, "What do you want for Christmas this year?," for the last several weeks.  But my wanter seems broken.  I don't have a long list of desires.  There are a few books that would be nice to own, but I can't find time to read the ones I already have.  There are a list of impractical toys I could borrow money to buy myself like a motorcycle, an ATV, a 50" LCD T.V., a home theater system, or any number of other things.  However, whatever pops in my mind is systematically eliminated for being too expensive, too impractical, or too unnecessary.

I have come to the conclusion that I don't really want any "thing" for Christmas.  I have collected things most of my life.  They sit collecting dust on a shelf, in a closet, or in the attic.  The reality is that I am truly blessed.  The Lord has surrounded me with wonderful people who love me.  I have a place to rest my head and food to eat.  I don't know what I want, because I have so much.

I guess what I am trying to say is that what I really want for Christmas is to grow in gratitude.  I want to be able to open a gift from someone and be thankful that they would even think of me.  I want to receive it as the treasure it truly is, because it is an expression of love.  I want to be able to sit and watch Sophia open her gifts, and not notice that she has more gifts than I do.  I want to spend Christmas making memories and forming traditions.  I want to celebrate the birth of my Savior, because he is "God with us."  I want to continue learning contentment, while similutaneously simplifying my life. I want to live every day praising God, because of his glorious grace and mercy.  This Christmas, and hopefully every day after, I want to live consciously aware of the grace that has been shown to me through Jesus Christ my Lord.  I pray your Christmas is rich and rewarding as you celebrate the gracious gift of Christ.