Thirsty for God

"As the deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God.  My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.  When shall I come and appear before God?  My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me continually, 'Where is your God?'" (Ps. 42:1-3).

This is a psalm of the sons of Korah.  It expresses a deep longing rooted in a overwhelming sense of abandonment.  The author(s) cry out, "Why have you forgotten me?  Why do I go about mourning because of the oppression of my enemies?" (Ps. 42:9-10).  The psalmist has become an object of ridicule, because his enemies no longer God at work in his life.

In the midst of his struggle to understand what is happening to him, the author expresses his unrelenting trust in the Lord.  He reasons, "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God" (Ps. 42:5).  Again he reminds himself, "By day the LORD commands his steadfast love, and at night his songs are with me, a prayer to the God of my life" (Ps. 42:8).

Both his external battles and his internal battles create a yearning with him.  This son of Korah wants the joy of his salvation back.  He wants to worship with fullness of heart and soul.  He wants the freedom to rejoice once more in the steadfast love of his God, the Rock of his salvation.  He describes this yearning as a thirst.

He pictures a deer stomping through the wilderness in search of a fresh flowing stream. I imagine a deer with it's tongue sticking out, sucking in air, in the hopes that it will quench it's growing thirst.  But the heat of the day or sound of hunters drawing closer, have the deer in a panic.  Thirsty and weary, the deer is frantically searching for a drink--something that will slake his thirst and renew his energies.  The psalmist is that pursued deer, that deer who desperately needs to drink deeply from the stream of God's mercy.

His spiritual walk has dried up.  At one time, he was a leader--showing others the way of worship.  Now, he feels as if the chastising hand of God has come upon him.  He is wrestling with his feelings, which suggest God has left him to the wolves, and the reality he knows, God's love is steadfast.  He wants to go back to feel that zeal and joy again, and to savor the sweetness of the praises of God.  Others have told him that he has been abandoned by God, and he can't help but wonder.  And yet, he finds himself persuaded that God is for him, and will eventually come to his rescue.

Maybe you're in the same place.  Your relationship with God isn't what it was, and you want to go back.  Maybe it has been a long time since you praised the Lord for his steadfast love.  Maybe you are being oppressed by the lie that God has abandoned you.  Maybe your soul thirsts for the living God.  Maybe you want your life to overflow with the joy of his presence.

I can't speak for you, but I know I feel like that deer.  There is a part of me that fears I may die, if I can't be close to God.  With the psalmist, I cry out, "When will I come and appear before God?".  How long, Father, must I endure this deadness in my heart?  How long will they be able to say to me: "Where is your God?" You are the God who is there, my Rock and my Fortress.  In you, I place my trust.

A thirst for God is not a fearful thing, as one might first suppose.  It is a joyful thing.  For it is God who, as someone once put it, "salts the oats," and creates the thirst for himself within us.  Being thirsty for God is an indication that God has shown us favor.  As Jesus put it, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be satisfied" (Matt. 5:6).

What about you, are you thirsty for God?  Are you panting after him yet?  Keep pursuing him, until you find yourself drinking deeply from the stream steadfast love.