"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it" (Matt 10:39).Jesus has issued two warning. The first one said, "And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell" (Matt. 10:28). The second warning states, "Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves sons or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take us his cross and follow me is not worthy of me" (Matt. 10:37-38). These warning should be echoing in the back of our minds as we look at this verse.
To "find" one's self means to love someone more than Jesus, to fail to take up our cross, and to fail to follow Jesus. Finding one's self carries with it the idea of finding a "peace" in life that is not entirely rooted in faithful obedience to Christ. Finding one's self is the process of forsaking the eternal kingdom for temporal comfort.
Imagine a situation where a person has to choose between a walk with Christ or their family. Let's say a son comes home and tells his father, "Dad, I trusted Christ today." The father responds, "I won't have the junk in my house. You can leave Jesus or leave here." Now, the son has a dilemma does he find his life through rejecting Jesus and thus forfeit eternal life or does he lose the life he has know by choosing to walk with Jesus and thus finding eternal life? In other words, will he keep his family life in tact while forfeiting his soul or will keep his soul in tact by forfeiting his family? Jesus said that the only way to truly live is to love him more than anyone, to take up our cross (instrument of suffering and death), and follow him.
Let's apply this to the modern search for self. People seem to be misplacing themselves a lot. Most of us know someone who has been or is now trying to "find" themselves. Most typically, these searches are not conducted in a prayer closet with the Scriptures open and a heart crying out to God. Most commonly, these searches are made by overhauling one's life. Consider the "midlife crisis" that many go through. Some men when they get middle-aged (45-60, as if most men live to be 90-120), get a fast car, a new (often younger) woman, switch jobs, take up crazy hobbies, buy a wig, or any number of things. Many feel as they got lost in the shuffle during the ordinary business of life. Life passed them by, and they want to live a little. They want to find their life.
However, when we pursue life this way it never brings life. As we age (and hopefully mature), there is a nagging since that we were made for more that continues to grow. The closer we get, chronologically, to eternity the more eternity tries to break into our consciousness. Many professing believers blame God for the sin in their lives. Now, most of them will never say it so plainly. They don't say, "God has brought this sin into my life, I guess I'm stuck with it." They say things like this, "I just wasn't happy at home. I asked the Lord to help me feel loved and understood. And the Lord brought so-and-so into my life." This kind of statement makes God responsible for adultery, something he condemns as sin.
Jesus warns us not to pursue happiness, success, fulfillment, purpose, or anything else apart from pursing him. The instant we start pursuing something other than Jesus, we stop pursuing Jesus. The pursuit of Jesus comes with a cost. Some of our hopes and dreams will die on the cross we are called to bear. We will be asked to follow Jesus in to some very painful places. We will face humiliation and rejection, difficulty and tribulation. These things are merely obstacles on the path of life.
The disciples questioned Jesus about this exchange. Peter said, "See, we have left everything and followed you" (Mark 10:28). Jesus replied, "Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and the for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, house and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life" (Mark 10:29-30).
Are you looking for yourself? Let me suggest you begin by humbly submitting yourself to God, taking up your cross, and following Jesus. You may lose "your life," but find eternal life in the process.
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