"The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body' (Prov. 18:8).Why is it people like gossip? It seems that our culture thrives on gossip. Apparently, some American's aren't satisfied with knowing who is seeing who in Hollywood, they want to know what toothpaste they use, what diet supplements are being used, and so on. We just got to know what is going on.
Solomon informs us that the tendency toward gossip is natural. By natural, I don't mean acceptable in the eyes of God, I mean that it is the carnal response of our sinful (fallen) nature. The words of the whisperer mentioned here by Solomon are words meant to wound the individual. They seek to destroy, either by character assassination or by stirring up strife. To enjoy the words of the whisperer is to participate in war or murder, and sometimes both.
Solomon points out, "For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases" (Prov. 26:20). That is to say, if a person does report the "news" they have heard concerning a person or persons, then rumor mill will close up shop. A bit of clarification may be in order. It is not gossip to say, "Bill was in a wreck." However, it is gossip to say, "I heard Bill was drinking when he wrecked." Even if Bill was drinking when he wrecked, it doesn't need broadcast unless it be comes an unquestionable fact reported by the proper authorities.
Gossip makes the whisperer and the listener feel empowered. The whisperer becomes one with the ability to not only see into the secret lives of individuals, but to reveal those secrets to others. The listener feels empowered because they know the secret. They now have something on the object of the gossip, and they can share it or conceal it. It feels as if the power of life and death is in their hands. In short, spreading gossip is playing God. Those who spread gossip determine good and evil for themselves apart from God. They become the master of another person's fate by revealing or concealing the secrets they know.
Sadly, many prayer requests within churches today are really gossip reports. Someone might say, "Pray for ol' Bill, he's a terrible drunk who is constantly wrecking his car." The statement might be factual. Bill might be a terrible drunk who has wrecked his car on numerous occasions, but the two facts may or may not be related. It would be better to say, "We should pray for Bill, it appears that he is having difficulty." Before you accuse me of glossing over sin, how many times do you specifically name your sins when asking for prayer? Have you ever said, "Brothers and sisters, pray for me, because I am a terrible gossip who enjoys every juicy tidbit that comes my way and I want to spread the news farther and wider than CNN?" No, most likely, you haven't.
While the Lord may call us to hold one another accountable, he won't have us do it through the grapevine. Jesus said, "If you brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens, you have gained your brother" (Matt. 18:15). Matthew 18:16-17 goes on to say that we should only involve others when the brother won't repent. First, we seek a private audience. If that fails, we take another person as our witness. If that fails, we take it before the church. If that fails, we public reject the brother's claim to salvation and remove membership from them. We cannot first go public, and then hope things will resolve themselves peacefully.
While gossip may be pleasing to the natural man, God hates it. Practicing gossip is a sin that needs to be repented of and forsaken. When a whisperer approaches us we should first ask that God would protect our hearts from desiring such news. Then we should pray that God would reveal his displeasure of gossip to the whisperer. Then we should confront them with the Word in love. You might say, "A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends" (Prov. 16:28). Finally, it is wise to remember: those who gossip to you, will gossip about you.
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