Abiding Friendships

I recently spoke to an old high school buddy. He was bringing me up to date on some of the people we went to school with. I had to get out my old yearbooks to put faces with names. Talking to him reminded me that most of my relationships in high school were acquaintanceships. I didn't really know many people outside of class. I didn't hang out with many people outside of school nor did I take part in many after school activities. I had a small band of friends that I trusted and hung out with, but for the most part I stayed to myself.

I left high school the day of graduation. I don't mean that I simply stopped going to school. I mean that I left those times (and troubles) behind as I moved forward. My high school experience was not one of glory and joy. I felt out of place, like that odd sock in the back of your drawer that you can't remember buying, wearing, or where the other one went. I realize now that those feelings were part and parcel of being a teenager, but for me I found it very difficult to entrust myself to anyone. Again, I don't mean to imply that I didn't have any meaningful relationships, but while I accepted many, I only trusted a few.

I realize now that this was a defense mechanism meant to protect me from getting hurt. However, it also prevented me from really getting to know people. I was so afraid of getting caught in the crossfire of life, that I sat out a big part of mine. We approach church life much the same way I approached high school. We build a network of acquaintances when we should be building friendships. Life is messy. There is no escaping that fact. If we are to love like Jesus, we must move beyond surface level relationships. We need to bond in such a way that we can empathize with each other. To paraphrase Paul, "Cry together in hardship; rejoice together in blessing."

Church is not some temporary stepping stone to the next level of life. The Church is the training ground for life in the kingdom. We are preparing for eternity together with the Lord. But, we will also be together with our fellow believers. There exists between believers an inseparable union. They are united in Christ and that bond cannot be broken. An old hymn asks, "Will the circle be unbroken?" The reality is that many family circles will be broken. I do not say that they will be broken to discourage anyone. Continue to pray for and witness to your lost family members; the Lord may save them. The simple fact is that not all will be saved. This reality is one of the reasons we must seek to preserve the unity of the church. It is the circle of the Church that shall go unbroken.

We must seek deep and abiding relationships with fellow believers, because those relationships are eternal. How do you treat the family and friends you are close to? Do you call them daily? Write/email them? Eat with them? Hang out? Now let me ask: Is there any one in your church (that you aren't related to) that you do these same things with. There should be. A believer cannot live long in isolation without feeling the effects on his faith. We need each other for strength. The church needs to be a place where every believer feels like they belong, and not like some odd sock tossed in the drawer, alone and ignored. I encourage you to get in there and get messy. Start making friendships that will last forever.