Little in life can be as exciting as miscommunication. All it takes is one missed appointment or one innocent comment that spirals into a massive argument, and all of the sudden life gets interesting. In case your life lacks the excitement you desire, I propose this recipe for miscommunication:
Don't address a problem quickly. Whenever you are given an important communication: a) don't write it down, b) don't ask for clarification, and c) don't act on it quickly. Haste makes waste. Put it off until the last possible moment--trust me it gets real exciting.
When you think there has been a misunderstanding on your part or the part of another, don't speak up. Speaking up will only cause conflict. But not as much conflict as staying silent. Conflict equals excitement. I bet you heart is just racing think about it.
When you speak, aim for brevity not clarity. The people to whom you are speaking won't care if they can't understand what you are talking about, so long as you say it quickly. Also, don't worry about having a point. They're usually unnecessary. Random thoughts interjected into conversations make it more interesting. Squirrel. See what I did there.
Talk more than you listen. This may seem contradictory to the last point, but really only reinforces it. Not listening to others forces them to learn how to speak more briefly. Plus, they don't have a point either, so why worry about the details. You can multitask while they are talking--check your email, make a grocery list, remind yourself to contact that kid from third grade you hadn't thought about in twenty-something years, oh what was his name? Now, you have a least two tasks finished.
The last piece of this recipe is indecision. Just of pinch of indecision can help you solidify the rest of these rules. What should I do? What should I do? Why make up your mind right now, when putting it off will be more exciting later?
Your moments away from some really exciting miscommunications. Arguments! Missed deadlines! Stress! Pressure! Confusion! Here we come.
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