Loving Jesus

How does Jesus define love?

"If anyone loves Me he will keep My word. My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him. The one who doesn't love Me will not keep My words. The word that you hear is not Mine but is from the Father who sent Me" (John 14:23-24, HCSB).

It is easy to fall into the trap of seeing love a warm, fuzzy feelings. But love is more than that. Love is accepting a person for who they are. It's about meeting them on their terms. If I approach someone with from the standpoint of self-interest (what they can do for me), I'm not loving them. I may be attracted to them. I may feel pity for them.  I may be genuinely concerned for them, but none of those things in love.

Jesus says, "Here I am. Love me." And we are to love him more than anything else. Why? Because he created us, and by his grace, he redeemed us. He is worthy of our utmost love. All of our life and desires should be prioritized beneath the Lord.

Yet, I find myself failing to keep his word, time and again. I struggle with some of the most basic things. I cling to him in faith. I am confident that his love is greater than mine, and greater than I can imagine. I try to remind myself of it often, not so I can do as I please, but so that I will be more apt to do as the Lord pleases.

How do we love Jesus? By trusting his promises, and pursing his will. May God bless you and keep you.

Brotherly Love

In 2 Peter 1:5-8, Peter expresses the components of a vital, effective faith. He calls us to add goodness to our faith, knowledge to our goodness, self-control to our knowledge, perseverance to our self-control, godliness to our perseverance, brotherly kindness to our godliness, and love to our brotherly kindness. What is brotherly kindness?

Brotherly kindness, or better, brotherly love is the kind of love one has for their brothers and sisters. It is that kind of love that sticks together through thick and then. Brotherly love was a common expectation in the ancient world, much like today, although it wasn't practiced any more back then than it is today. It was a common enough problem that it is addressed by several writers in the New Testament (See Heb. 13:1, Rom. 12:10, and 1Pet. 1:22).

First John 3:11-18, helps us to understand the nature of brotherly love. John reminds us that the Christian message is rooted in love. We should love one another just as God loved us. We are now his children, and that makes us family.

John commands, "Don't be like Cain" (see 1 John 3:12). Why? Because Cain belonged to the evil one, he murdered his brother, and he was an evil doer. His hatred of his brother marked Cain as a son of the devil. The mark of God's children is love. The devil hates and murders; God loves and redeems. This dichotomy drives the tension between God's people and the world. God's people seek to do right and please God. The devil's people seek to do evil and disobey God. 

If Cain teaches us to understand hate, how are we to understand love? John tells us that we know what love is because Jesus' death. Love sacrifices itself. It gives to others, before taking for itself. John gives a practical example of how this plays out for believers: the will to help those in need. Those who don't want to help others, don't really show (or possess) the love of God. Our love is to be in word and deed.

The mark of the Christian is love. Love for God, and love for our fellow believers. Love isn't just what we are called to do, it is who we are. It is deeply ingrained in our spiritual DNA. Do you love your brothers? What are some of the ways you show it? Leave a comment, I would love to hear from you.

Assume the Best

Whenever you have a group of people working together there is going to be some tension. Tension isn't always a bad thing. If handled properly, tension can bring about growth. However, if not handled properly tension can cause needless pain.

James, the brother of Jesus and a pastor in the early church, warned, "My dearly loved brothers, understand this: Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for man's anger does not accomplish God's righteousness" (James 1:19-20, HCSB).

The apostle Paul has some words of warning as well. He states, "[Love] does not act improperly, is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a record of wrongs" (1 Cor. 13:5). He also states, "For I fear that perhaps when I come I will not find you to be what I want; there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambitions, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorder" (2 Cor. 12:20). Again, Paul states, "All bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice" (Eph. 4:31).

The temptation in life is to assume the worse in others. We question their motives, we read into their words, and we suspect their character. However, we want them to trust our motives, correctly interpret our words, and recognize our characters. Differences of opinions or approaches often lead to conflict because we misunderstand one another.

Although the solution is simple, it isn't always easy. Paul encourages, "And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ" (Eph. 4:32). Jesus said, "Therefore, whatever you want others to do for you, do also the same for them--this is the Law and Prophets" (Matt. 7:12).

The best course of action when working with others is to assume the best.  Even though Jesus knew Judas's heart, he didn't treat him differently. Jesus knew Judas was a thief, yet Jesus still allowed him to be the treasurer.  He treated Judas with loving kindness. He even washed Judas's feet. It is impossible for us to know what is in other peoples hearts, so we need to trust them. Even if they do things differently than we would, or say things in a way that rub us the wrong way. We need to give them the benefit of the doubt.

In the long run, it isn't about us. It is about the glory of God. As believers, we all strive in our own way to glorify God. Sometimes, we succeed. Sometimes, we fail. At all times, we seek grace. Therefore, at all times we must give grace. Unless they prove otherwise, we must always assume that those around us are striving to glorify God, as well.  If we approach the task of working with others for the glory of God in humility and love,  everything else can be worked out.

As You Wish

If you have seen the movie, The Princess Bride, you are familiar with the characters Wesley and Buttercup.  If you haven't seen it, how did you discover the internet.  You should crawl out of your hole, and go buy a copy of it.  No, don' t rent it, you'll just wind up wanting to rent it again.  It's that funny.  All kidding aside, it is a great movie--you should see it.

Anyway, Wesley is a young farmhand who is deeply in love with his master's daughter, Buttercup.  Wesley reveals his love to Buttercup by simply responding to her orders with the expression, "As you wish."  In time, Buttercup realizes that Wesley loves her and she loves him.  It's a touching story, with a lot of humor thrown in.

I was reminded of the story this afternoon when Sophia asked for a peanut butter and marshmallow (cream) sandwich.  Yes, I am aware that they are probably not very "good" for you, but they taste really good.  So from time to time I make her one.

I realized, as I was making the sandwich, that I enjoy serving her.  I find my spirits lifted in the act of serving others.  As her father, my desire is to give her the desires of her heart.  Yet, I know that I cannot give into her every wish--like marshmallow or pizza for breakfast.  Nor can I give it to her every time she asks.

At times, I feel crushed by the urgent.  There is so much to do.  Then a little voice calls to me, "Daddy, can you play with me?" The temptation is to think that what I am doing is more important than play time, but much of the time it isn't.  She needs me to serve her in this way.

So at times, I smile, put my stuff to the side, and say, "As you wish."  Because I know one day, she'll understand it means, "I love you (more than me)."

Finding Heart

The love we hold back is the love we lose.  I was painfully shy when I was a child.  I found it very difficult to allow myself to trust people.  I found it easier to keep people at arms length.  I always held part of myself back.  However, I have learned that in holding back, I was the one who lost.

When we live our lives as slaves to fear, we miss out on many opportunities to mature as a person.  Measures  taken to avoid the pain of rejection and heartache, often prevent us from becoming fully functional mature adults. We go through life like wounded children, never quite certain of ourselves or our circumstances.

This insecurity heightens our fears, and we build up a persona to mask our terror.  All the while, we anxiously await the moment when the veil drops, and we are exposed for who we are.  If you have ever experienced these feelings, you understand how this vicious cycle spirals down deeper and deeper.  It feels as if there is never a moment when you can just relax and be yourself.

The time comes (repeatedly) when you have to decide whether or not you will stand or run.  If you decide to stand, then you have to risk trusting someone who may stab you in the back, or who may rip your heart right out of your chest, or who may love you unconditionally just the way you are.  They may see your neurosis for what it is: fear, and they may decide to love you through it.  If you decide to stand, then you might have to risk losing the very object of your love.

How can you mature without the risk?  If you play it safe, who wins.  Do you win, even though you're emotionally immature, insecure, and riddled with anxiety? Is that winning?  Does the person who needed your love win, even though you never gave it?  No, the love you keep is the love you lose.

God has blessed me with many wonderful people who have loved me just as I am.  He has also allowed me to be in situations where I had to learn a deeper love through the experience of loss or betrayal.  Before Ellie was born, I could not imagine how parents could endure prolonged illness in their child or how they would survive their child's death.  I didn't know how unimportant I could become (to myself), or that I could totally re-prioritize my life around the needs of another.  Yet, God, in his grace, enabled me to do these things.  

Ellie's premature birth, physical complications, and her subsequent death were so bitterly painful.  Looking back on the situation, I see how God was stretching and growing me each day we had with her.  In a lot of ways, I think my encounter with Ellie brought me into manhood.  Her complications forced me to take on a level of responsibility that I had never faced.  I was responsible for her life, and in that moment I decided I would do whatever it took.  It is a decision I will never regret, even though things didn't turn out as planned.

I could have protected myself.  I could have said no to the idea of adoption.  I could have abandoned Ellie, and left the decisions up to her birth mother, a frightened teenage girl alone in the world.  In God's providence, I took the risk.  I stepped out in faith, and opened my heart to love.  But instead of losing everything, I found a heart.  It was a heart that was deeper and wider, a heart that understood the cost of tough choices and was ready to make them, a heart that rested in knowing God's heart.  I also found a man, who was unwilling to live in fear any longer, a man willing to love no matter what the risk, because he now knows: the love we keep is the love we lose.

Learning to Love

How do you love some one who doesn't love his/her self?  What is the proper Christian response to self-destructive behavior?  What if rebuke and correction are not taking root?  What if you have tried kindness and patience, but you feel you are about out of both?

Some situations in life are so complicated and frustrating.  There are no easy answers, at least none that satisfy the heart bent on honoring God.  The Lord would not be pleased if we went around conking heads together.

Instead, we must turn to the Lord in a spirit of prayer.  We must pray as if lives were at stake, because they are. We must exercise patience while we pray for the strength to endure.  We must trust the Lord to help us bear up under the load of our circumstance.

Another thing we must do is to stay the course.  We keep caring.  We keep speaking the truth in love.  We keep hoping for the sun to rise on another day for those wayward sheep.  We cry out to the holy God, who rescued us from our sin, that he would deliver them from theirs.

Love can't "throw in the towel."  Love never says die.  Love must continue to plod along, steady and straight. We must try to see ourselves in their shoes, and love them like we would want to be loved.  All the while, we should be asking God to love them through us, and to teach us to love them like he does.

Your Face Will Surely Show It

"A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed" (Prov. 15:13).

Sometimes it normal to be sad. Christianity is not single emotion religion. The Bible presents a wide range of emotion within its pages. These recorded emotions are there by the inspiration of the Spirit. He lead the men feeling these emotions to record them in vivid detail. Lack of grieving is not super-spiritual, it's emotional immaturity.

Solomon states, "by sorrow of the heart the spirit is crushed." Thus, there may be events or situations within our lives that bring sorrow upon our hearts and crush our spirits. This text reminds us that even in Christ, grief is normal. However, we can never allow grief to define us. It is true that we grieve, but we are never without hope.

A believer should never get lost in grief, as if they had been abandon or were alone. We are never alone, nor will we ever be abandoned. As we focus on the gospel of Jesus Christ, joy abides within. The night of grief may seem dark, but morning is coming.

I say all of this, because we need to do a better sign of recognizing the signs that someone is grieving. To paraphrase Solomon's words with a children's song, "If you're happy and you know it your face will surely show it." Solomon's words, "A glad heart makes a cheerful face" are a poignant reminder. We need to observe the people around us. We need to act on those observations.

Instead of asking, without genuine concern, "How are you doing?", we need to be saying things like, "You sure look like you got a lot on your mind, would you care to talk about it." Granted, such a question means we have to make ourselves available to them. But isn't that exactly what we are supposed to be doing as the church? Are we really willing to invest in each other. Jesus said that they would know we are his by our love.

If we are observant, if we make ourselves available, if we invest in others for the glory of God and the love of Christ, then we are walking love. Are we meeting their needs with grace, truth, and discipline? Then we are walking in love. And that is how we should be walking. The next time you see someone smiling ear to ear ask them, "What wonderful thing has the Lord brought to pass that has brought you such joy?" Or the next time you see someone who looks sad or lonely ask them, "Would you like to talk about what is troubling you?" Whatever the situation take the time to listen to the need and respond in the love of Christ.

A Real Family

Webster defines "real" as 1) of or relating to fixed, permanent, or immovable things (like land) and 2) not artificial, fraudulent, illusory or apparent. Real love defines a real family. Genetics are important, but not ultimate. I am not just saying that because I have no biological children. I say it because it is true. In Christ, we have a family that transcends genetic, ethnic, geographic, cultural and all other bounds.

Paul states, "For you did not receive the spirit of slaver to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, 'Abba! Father!' The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are the children of God, and if children, then heirs--heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him" (Rom 8:15-17).

This Spirit of adoption brands our heart with the love of God. The love of God in our hearts brings us into a deeper love of his other children. This reality if evident in John's words, "We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death" (1 John 3:14).

Our love for Christ and obedience to his Word may drive us from our biological families, but it will never calls us to part ways from our real family. I am not saying that biological families are not real, only that they are not eternal, not permanent. There are many believers in the world today, and who have gone on before us, who have had to forsake or who have been forsaken by their families. Yet, not one of God's children will ever be forsaken by God.

Earthly families should be patterned on the heavenly family. The glue that bonds the heavenly family together is not a mixture of guilt, or manipulation, or familial loyalty, or sense of duty. Love bonds the heavenly family together. It is a love that looks remedies imperfection by sacrifice. "Love covers a multitude of sins." We should esteem others better than ourselves, because that is what Jesus did. He willingly took the place and punishment of sinful people and gave up his life for them. In his act of self-sacrifice he extended forgiveness to those who receive it and demonstrated the kind of love we must have.