The Grace of a Day

I had the privilege of getting to attend the Southern Baptist Convention in Baltimore, Maryland last week, and from there my family and I traveled to New York City. We returned home early Tuesday morning, and began making preparations to return to normal life. We were greeted by the excited meowing of our cat, Gandalf, as we entered the house. He then proceeded to pester me for attention.

We got Gandalf when he was a kitten. Although he was several weeks old, he hadn’t had much human contact and had a bit of a wild streak. In order to tame him, I would hold him for long periods of time. This level of attention forged a bond between him and me that he never outgrew. Anytime we would go away for an extended period, I was certain to find him happy to see me and desperate for my attention.

I could always count on him to stalk me for days (often weeks) after every trip. If I sat down, he would sit near me (or on me). If I got up and went to the next room, he would follow me. He would lay by me when I went to bed, and get up when I got up. If I was able to escape his constant presence, he would begin to meow in a deep, mournful way that seemed to say, “Where are you? I’m lonely.”

Over the course of the last twelve years, this pattern had been repeated on numerous occasions. Gandalf was most affectionate the days following a return from an absence. There would be days of nudging and nuzzling and stalking. During a normal day, it wouldn’t be unusual for Gandalf to rub his face against my hand or leg once or twice. Experts say this behavior is a cat’s way of marking the object they are rubbing as their own. Yet in the days after I had returned from a trip, he would rub against me countless times. I always understood it to mean, “Mine! Mine! Mine! Now you can’t leave again.”

Although we had affection for one another, we didn’t always get along. Gandalf was, after all, a cat. He wanted attention when he wanted it. He bit me on more than one occasion because my feet crowded “his space” on my bed. Gandalf didn’t meow much on a normal day, unless he wanted food or snacks. But when he did meow, he just wouldn’t quit. I never enjoyed his nagging.

When we returned home Tuesday, nothing surprised me about Gandalf’s behavior. The noise, the stalking, the rubbing—it was all normal. He even kept with tradition and pestered me to pet him while I was trying to go to sleep (which I obliged because I was, after all, happy to see him too). When I got ready to leave for work Wednesday morning, there he was meowing in my shadow as he traced my steps from room to room. As I closed the door, I imagined he would pass the long day napping as he awaited our return.

We returned home from church a little later than usual. Sophia sprang into the house as I opened the door blazing past a sleeping Gandalf. But something wasn’t quite right. He didn’t move. He didn’t flinch. He was still as a stone. And I knew. I hoped I was wrong, but I knew. He was gone. His body was cold and stiff to the touch. Gone. Just gone. No notice, no warning. As full of life and energy as a 12 year-old cat can be in the morning, and 12 hours later he was gone.

As I reflected on our time together, I couldn’t help but wonder, “Why now?” Why couldn’t he have lasted a little longer? But as I thought about it, I realized God had given me (and Gandalf) a day. A day to renew our affections. A day to share. Had I realized that Tuesday would be our last day together, a weary traveler would have found obsessed cat’s nagging less annoying. I would have lingered a little longer while scratching him behind the ears. And in that realization, I knew the grace of a day. Reflecting on that day, I have learned a few things:

1. Time is short. People (almost) always assume they have more time. We plan for futures we are not promised.

2. Make the most of every day. Yesterday is gone. We might be left with good memories or regrets, but we can’t change the past. Tomorrow isn’t promised. Live today like it is the most important day of your life.

3. There is no shame in crying. Whether tears of joy or tears of sorrow, there is no shame in shedding tears.

4. Enjoy it while it lasts. The circumstances of our lives are always changing. The old saying warns, “Don’t blink or you might miss it.”  I was reminded by a man recently to make the most of Sophia’s childhood, because it would pass before I realized it.

5. God’s grace is sufficient for all our needs. Whether we are dealing with loss—of a family pet, a family member, a job, etc., He is enough. He is even enough when we are dealing with the outpouring of his favor. If our hopes and fears are anchored in Christ, we have more than we can ever need.

 

7 Lessons Learned While Building a Habit

I am working on building better habits. Bad habits seem to develop with little effort, and that is where they get there power. There is no conscious desire to start a bad habit. We just find something that we like (and shouldn't), and we keep doing it because we like it. For example, I eat when I get stressed. A lot of the time, I don't realize that I am feeling stressed or how much I am eating. The trigger-response automatic thinking drives habitual behavior.

The difficulty in forming good habits is that it requires conscious thought. One must decide to change, to think differently, and to overcome deeply ingrained patterns. You have to think about the new "habit" a lot. Old habits die hard (especially the worst ones). New habits are not easily formed, especially when they we haven't lost all our old desires. When the old desires and new desires meet on the battlefield of our wills, it is like to storm fronts clashing. Thing are bound to get tossed around.

But if we hold our ground, we'll weather the storm. The more we nurture the new desires that are shaping the new habits we want to form, the weaker our old desires will become. Be warned: old desires are like vampires in that they suck the life out of you and aren't easily killed (just when you think you laid that sucker to rest, he springs to life again). And if old habits are vampires, new habits are wild flowers--beautiful, but easily trampled on.

One of the new habits I have been working on relates to Bible reading. After years of following a daily Bible reading plan, I fell out of the habit. And for over a year, my Bible reading revolved around preparation for messages. At first, I didn't recognize what was happening. Then one day, I realized I was spiritually anemic. My heart and my faith were growing cold. I was discouraged and on the verge of despondency.

Yet in the midst of it all, God awakened me to an renewed desire for him. I knew that if I wanted to rekindle my faith, I would have to get into the Word and let the Word get into me. I had experimented with Dr. Grant Horner's Bible Reading Plan a couple of years ago, but fell behind, got discouraged, and gave up. But a little over a month ago, I felt compelled to revisit it. After some consideration, I adapted Dr. Horner's plan. I went from his 10 lists to 12. I adjusted some of the lists, such as the Prophets. On Dr. Horner's list you read Isaiah through Malachi. I broke it into two lists: the Major Prophets (Isaiah-Daniel) and the Minor Prophets (Hosea-Malachi).

Here is some of what I have learned in the past 31 days.

1. You have to make Bible reading a priority. As Christians we should be committed to reading the Scripture. If we don't make it a priority in our life like food and air, it won't get done as often as we hope.

2. To make it a priority, you have to set aside time for it. In spite of my persistent prayers for more time, God has seen fit to give me the same number of hours in my day as everyone else. I had to make changes in my schedule to make time for reading the Bible. I have a little girl and didn't want to interfere with spending time with her, so I had to chose a time when she was asleep. I opted for early mornings because she has a tendency toward rising early. Staying up late and having to get up early doesn't work well for me. I don't feel right if I get less than six hours sleep. Getting up early meant I had to kill my evening ritual of watching t.v. to "unwind." Now, if I'm up past 10 p.m., I start getting really tired (and a little cranky). If you are not used to getting up early in the morning move your alarm clock away from the bed.

3. You need to have a plan. My reading takes about 45 minutes, when I am fully awake and engaged. Sometimes, I takes longer (especially if I doze off). I follow Dr. Horner's advice and read quickly, not so quickly that I can't remember what I reading, but I don't take a lot of notes either. My Bible reading is just that, not studying. Determine what plan you want to follow. There are tons of them available. There are even special Bibles that are divided into daily readings. Make sure you keep track of what you have read. Set aside plenty of time for your reading. Most plans don't take more than 30 minutes a day (even for slow readers). Here is a helpful chart to help you keep track.


4. Approach it as a joy, and not a burden. Sometimes, people are tempted to think of necessary things as a burden. If we aren't careful, we will treat "having to do our Bible reading" as a chore. It is kind of like getting socks (or underwear) for Christmas. Most kids know there necessary, but they prefer toys and fun stuff. The Bible isn't Christmas socks. It is through the Scripture that we come to know our Lord and Savior.

5. Give yourself grace. If you have to split your reading up or if you doze off, don't get discouraged. Your building a habit that goes against your natural inclinations. It takes time. Lots of time. God is gracious in his invitation. He already accepts you in Christ. Don't be afraid. If he is willing to be patient with Gideon (and numerous others in Scripture), he won't run out of patience with you.

6. Find a way to keep you accountable. I have been telling people (like you the reader) about my experiment. It keeps you motivated because you never know when someone will say, "How is your reading going?"
 
7. Don't break the chain. I read an article sometime back to talked about Jerry Seinfeld's secret to success. Ultimately, it was a simple commitment to daily practice--get a calendar, mark the days you practice with an "x", once you have a chain of "x"s don't break the chain.


In the end, what matters is that you get into the Bible. You can follow any plan. You can use an audio Bible. Stick with it until you couldn't imagine skipping a day. May the Lord bless your time in his Word.

Why Isn't It Working?

I have heard many Christians say, "I've been praying. I wonder why it isn't working." An atheist would scoff, and say it is because there is no one there to hear our prayers. But how is the believer to respond?

If we buy into what some churches are teaching, we might conclude that God's greatest desire for us is our happiness. There are many professing Christians today who believe God doesn't want us to suffer hardship or want. They believe that God will remove every obstacle from their path so they can march to heaven on an easy path. Within this kind of thinking, unanswered prayer leaves the believer confused.

However, the Bible teaches a different way of understanding. We are promised tribulation in this world. The rest we yearn for is still yet to come, so we plod along relying on our Lord. God's great desire for believers is their holiness, not their happiness. Hardships teach us perseverance, and perseverance, when we have learned it well, produces faith.

It doesn't take much to make a child (or some adults) happy. You just have to give them what they want, when they want it. Holiness requires more. To be holy, one must often go against their own nature. They must deny themselves some of their desires. It takes effort, but holiness is what God demands from all people. Once the taste for holiness is required, it brings happiness. But until we do the hard work of waiting, learning, and growing, we will never experience lasting holiness or happiness.

With this backdrop, let us return to the opening question. Why do some prayers go unanswered? Charles Bridges, a pastor in the 1800s, addressed as similar question his book, The Christian Ministry. While his initial question was more concerned with why ministry isn't always as fruitful as one would hope, his answer applies here. He stated,

But why is this promised blessing withheld?--"Even so; Father; for so it seemth good in they sight." Yet we must not slumber in acquiescence without self-inquiry. Do we fervently seek and cherish this influence? Do we actively "stir up the gift of God which is in us?" Above all, does our pulpit set out that full exhibition of our Divine Master, which alone commands this heavenly blessing? The encouragement of prayer and faith are always the same. God is indeed absolutely sovereign in the distribution of his blessing; but by his command to seek, he has pledged himself, that we shall not seek in vain. Having freely promised, he will faithfully perform. Let all means be used in diligence, but in dependence--in self-denial, but in self-renunciation.

So the simple answer to our question is that God doesn't answer because he has chosen to hold back. The reasoning may escape us in the present (and possibly in the future), but we must push forward. When every effort has been made, every motive examined, every sin confessed, yet there is no discernible reason for our lack of success, we must trust in God's sovereign wisdom. He is worthy of our undying trust, even when we don't know what he is doing.

Pray Like It's on Him, Work Like It's on Him, Too!

I watched Healed by Grace the other night. It was a movie about a girl who gets injured in a car wreck, has her dreams of being a dancer crushed, but find outs God had other plans for her. It was a pretty good movie (but this isn't a movie review). During one scene, the chorus of the song playing in the background said something like, "Pray like it's on him, work like it's on you."

The words resonated with me. Too often Christians are afraid means. I'm not talking about mean people, but the instrument or method used to obtain an end. We forget that God in his sovereign wisdom not only ordains ends (what's going to happen), but the means (ways) in which they come about. Without straying too far off course let me say, that God does not cause sin, nor can he sin (there is a much larger conversation to be had at this point, but I will save it for another post). My point about means is that when God calls us to pray, it is because he means it to bring about its purpose.

The expression, "pray like it's on you, work like it's on him," captures the responsibility of the believer to appropriate God's means in order to bring about God's purposes. There is another expression I have heard frequently, "Put legs to your prayers." It means we have to do more than pray. For example, if you have a friend who is an unbeliever, it is right and good to pray for them to come to faith. However, they still need the hear the message of Christ, if they are to believe. Paul said, "How can they believe in one of whom they have never heard?" So praying for the unbeliever is good (and necessary), but we must also tell them about Jesus.

Many believers today have come to believe that effort is a sign of weak faith. One might reason, if I have to work at it, I don't really believe. While in some cases, such reasoning may be true, it is clearly false in the vast majority of cases. Throughout the Bible the natural life is used as an analog for the Christian life. What I mean is that Paul and other can talk about believers as infants, children, young men (and women), and elders. Life, whether physical or spiritual, is a maturing process. In life, there is always effort being exerted.

People who are waiting for the Lord to make things happen in their life need to carefully consider if they are using the appropriate means that God appointed. Praying for clean clothes might work for a family that lost everything in a house fire or a homeless person because they have no other means to get those things. But a person who has the means to have cleans cloths (cloths, washer, detergent, water, etc.), shouldn't expect God to do their laundry for them.

Often times believers feel frustrated with the lack of growth in their spiritual life, but fail to make the connection between their lack of Bible study, meditation, prayer, and worship. True, even the most devout experience spiritual dryness at times. But most frequently, when our spirits grow cold it is because we have turned away from the all-consuming fire, that is our God (Heb. 12:29). If we were to use God's appointed means of worship, study, prayer, fellowship, etc., we would discover our lives rekindled and our maturity increasing.

Effort should be expected in the Christian life. God has been driving home the truth of Philippians 2:12-13 to me in recent months. Paul states, "Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure" (Phil. 2:12-13). These verses teach us  at least two things two things: God expects us to work and he grants us what we need to get the work done.

While the quote, "Pray like it's on him, work like it's on you," offers us a glimpse of our responsibility, it might be better for us to say, "Pray like it's on him, work like it's on him." Paul demonstrates this pattern in several places. "I can do all things through him who strengthens me" (Phil. 4:13). "For this [to present everyone mature in Christ] I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me" (Col. 1:29). "Such is the confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life" (2 Cor. 3:4-6).

You might be tempted to think (or say), "If it is all up to God, then why do I need to do anything?" The short answer is because that is what God said to do. For a longer answer, consider what I've said about means and ends. If we don't use God's appointed means, we cannot achieve God's appointed end. I am not implying that we can somehow stop God's plan. As Mordecai reminded Esther, "For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this"(Esther 4:14).

So, pray hard. God delights in answering the prayers of his people, and has appointed them to pray so that he might display his grace in answering them. And work hard, but not in your strength alone. None of us are sufficient in our own strength, but God's grace is sufficient for us. As you labor, remember that you do not toil alone, for God is at work in you to will and work for his good pleasure. In the end, we need to "Pray like it's on him, and work like it's one him," too!

Spring is in the Air

It is a beautiful day outside, and spring seems to be gaining a foothold here in Kentucky. I don't think it has won the war with winter, but soon enough winter will find itself boxed up and put away until next year. All that means warmer days, more daylight, and the return of bugs (It can't all be great right).

Spring is a time of hopefulness. The naked, leafless trees that looked so lifeless in winter will soon be clothed in lavish greenery. The brown, lifeless grass slain by the sun's autumn retreat will soon find the courage to breath again. Flowers are beginning to emerge in the field. The annual celebration of the Resurrection, Easter, is drawing near.

The rhythms of our world teach us something about life. There is a time to be born, a time of growth and productivity, a time of decline, and a time of death. The seasons serve as a reminder. What will happen to us in the winter of life? If we were to agree with the Hindu, the seasons would simply repeat themselves until we were good enough to exit the cycle. If we were to agree with the secularist, we would assume winter ends, but we know no more. But as Christians, we know that winter isn't the end.

For the believer, the last earthly winter give way to the spring of resurrection. Life begets life. Those who live by faith in Christ, have life now and will have life then. They are the heirs of light. A day is coming when we will no longer be subject to sin and suffering. And while, many will discard such thoughts as pipe dreams, we have the sure Word of God. For those with eyes to see, God's fingerprints are on everything. But those who have been blinded cannot see the proof right in front of their faces.

With spring's budding presence around us, let us renew are hope. Let us remind ourselves that we, like this world, are being made new. This time of year is merely a sampling of what is in store when God makes all things new (in the fullest possible sense). Let us look toward that day with joy and gladness. Even as we are excited for spring to arrive in all of its fullness, we should yearn more earnestly for Christ's return.

The Time of My Life

It is hard to believe that this year marks the 20th anniversary of my high school graduation. In some ways, it seem like only yesterday--that is until I see an old photo. When I see an old photo, I wonder what happened to the time. I know where the time went. I won't bore you with the details. Life happened.

Twenty years ago, I was ruminating on the un-reassuring promise that those days "were the best days of my life." Such a promise cast a long, dark shadow over my future. I feared that if high school represented the best life had to offer the rest of life would be nearly impossible to bear. I battled with depression, anxiety, and insecurity in those days, and the thought of things only getting worse, pushed in me in a bad direction.

At 18, I didn't think I would be around to see a 20 year reunion. A couple of years ago, around my 36th birthday, I realized I had lived longer than the teenage me thought we would. With that realization, I came to understand that I had been operating on old plan. I hadn't made a "what comes after 35 plan."

In truth, the boy I was died along time ago. It happened late in 1995, when the truth of the gospel awakened my heart to reality of God and my need of forgiveness. My life took a definite turn (although the journey hasn't always gone as smoothly as I had hoped it would). I still make a lot of mistakes, but I am a different person today.

I have spent the last 18+ years discovering the best times of my life. In 1999, I married the love of my life, Delia. In 2008, we adopted our daughter Sophia. I have pastored the same church since August of 2001. I have learned much in the last several years.

We have encountered difficulty along the way. The hardest was the loss of our daughter Ellie in 2006. Born prematurely, she survived almost five months before she went to be with the Lord. That kind of loss changes a person, they never recover even if they are able to adjust to the new normal and move forward with life. But God, in his grace, carried us. We survived.

Even in my darkest days, I can say these are the best days of my life. Yet, through faith, I look for better days to come. I don't know that I would go back and change anything. I would be afraid that I wouldn't be the man I am today, if I did. But if I could go back, with the assurances that changes made would only make me a better person today. I probably would.

I find it interesting that days that felt life-or-death 20 years ago are often difficult to recall. Moments I swore I would never forget are lost to the past. And yet, I still let regret linger in my mind. What could have been? It doesn't matter. I'm content with what is, and excited about what is to come. I hope you are at peace with your past, and happy in present. Twenty years can pass in blink of the eye, so make the most out of this moment.

An Untamed Mind

Sometimes it feels like my brain is a tangled ball of snakes. My thoughts all wiggle and squiggle together. It is hard to know which thought to grab. Several years ago, I read an article (I don't remember where) that listed the symptoms of ADD. I remember telling Delia that I had 9 out of the 10 symptoms. I would describe my mental life in simple terms: distracted, unfocused, squirrel. Okay, that last one was a joke.

There is something beautiful about a mind that make a dozen different connections in a matter of milliseconds. There is a kind of poetic fluidity to thoughts that intersect along your brain's neuro-pathways. A thought is introduced, a connection made, and bang the wheels of your mind are whirling at the speed of light and in a matter of moments you have traversed the span of the universe of your mind.

The downside of making multiple connections in rapid succession is that it is easy to get lost in the shuffle. It is frustrating when a conversation causes your brain to take a turn, and another, and another, and so on, only to find yourself unable to remember what you were talking about in the first place. Sometimes I find myself on the far side of the universe of my mind, and I can't remember how I got there or how to get back.

I have given up on taming the beast. I'm not certain the human mind should be one tracked. It is helpful, at times, to be able to zero in on one thing--a project, a task, a conversation--but the mind seems designed to process multiple things at once (hearing, seeing, etc.). The mind seems geared to interact with and react to information. It might be detrimental to become overly focused.

While I don't think I can tame my mind, I am certain that I can train it. I have been training it for years. For example, I enjoyed the Lord of the Rings trilogy, even though the films are about three hours long (the extended versions are even longer . . . and better). However, watching 15 minutes of the news grates my nerves. I can't think of a time when I watched the news without thinking: "Why would anyone watch this?". My point is watching a three hour movie should be harder to do than watching a 30 minute news program, but it isn't in my mind.

One of the keys to training a mind is to connect what your doing to what you value. To put it another way: do what you love and love what you do. Staying focused during a conversation may be naturally difficult to you, but consider the person to whom you are talking. Are you showing them care and respect? Are you learning something new? How is going to move you closer to your goals? Will it reinforce your values?

Meditation is also important. I don't mean the empty-your-mind so often reference in our culture. I mean the biblical kind in which you fill your mind with things worthy of thinking about. While it certainly includes Scripture, Philippians 4:8 seems to widen the scope of our meditation.

The next time someone or something starts moving through the briar patch of your mind and flushes out a rabbit, observe it for a moment. If it is worthy of thought, chase it. It has been my experience that God will use a stray thought to draw us closer to him. However, I should warn you that the devil uses stray thoughts, too. How do we know the difference? Why not spend some time thinking through and praying over Philippians 4:8. It is a great place to start.

I have heard that there are some animals that can't be domesticated. I think the mind should be in the category. You can train a tiger or a lion to do tricks, but at the end of the day they are still not tamed. Train your mind so that it can perform at the crack of the whip (that is, when it is necessary), but don't worry that it isn't tame. It might just be wild by design.

I'm Back

Yesterday was my first post in nearly six months. I didn't intend for the break to last so long. But I trying to find something to say, or at least worth saying. I can't say that I have succeeded, but the silence was growing weary for me. I found myself at the crossroads of do-I-continue and it-is-time-to-say-goodbye. I wasn't ready for goodbye. I think there is still some good yet to come.

For those of you who have waited around, I hope this year will prove worth it. I wanted to give you a road map for the coming year. I still don't know what all I'll be blogging about, but I plan on making at least one new post a week. Theology, education, orphan care, and family will all be on the menu, as will other things.

So, for the foreseeable future, I'm back. As always, your comments are welcome (unless you happen to be a spammer). I hope this year is fruitful.

Happy New Year

New Year’s Day. Another year is in the history books; a new year looms before us full of hope and potential. New Year’s Day can be a time of reflection, a time for planning. What has been is past and what will be is not yet known. It is safe to say that the coming year will be punctuated by moments of joy and sadness, laughter and tears, ups and downs. On the whole, there will be a lot of everyday sort of living. But the measure of this year will rest primarily on you. How will you approach this coming year?

Some people will make resolutions. They will decide, here and now, what they will have accomplished in the next 365 days. They want to lose weight, read more, eat healthier, learn a new language, etc. So they declare their intent in the form of a resolution. Most of them will fail to accomplish their stated goal. Someone said 80% of all resolutions fail by Valentine’s Day, but don’t let that discourage you—20% make it.

I’m not advocating New Year’s resolutions, but I’m not opposing them either. You are more likely to succeed at achieving a goal that is written down and shared with others. People with clearly stated (and written down) goals are much more likely to succeed. This is a situation in which the fear of embarrassment works for people. Once they have committed to a documented course of action, they run the risk of embarrassing themselves. That fear drives them to pursue the goal.

What I am suggesting is that we learn to embrace the new. Let go of past regrets and the lies that have held you in bondage. As Paul says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Cor. 5:17, NIV). Jesus is making all things new, including you.

The simple truth is neither you nor I can change one thing from the past. We can experience forgiveness, but it is beyond our power to undo our mistakes. With that in mind, I have one resolution: Through faith, I will dwell in the grace of God, in every circumstance, throughout the coming year.

I hope this resolution serves me well. It is a bit broad, but it is intended to cover the scope of my life. I have weight to lose, books to read, sermons to prepare (and preach), classes to teach, papers to write, etc. I could take the time to make resolutions that would address each area of my life, but the one resolution serves my purpose.

In all that I face in the coming year, I want to face it in faith. I want to rely on grace. I tried to go it on my own, in my own power and strength, but that has left me frustrated, discouraged, and tired. In the upcoming year, I hope to labor, by his grace, in the Lord’s strength. I will fail, but in his grace he will not let go.

Today is stretched out before me. It is the first day of a new year, and I intend on enjoying it. I hope the year ahead is filled with blessings for all of you. May God bless.