I Yearn for More

We didn't have to pass through security checkpoints today.  There were no mad dashes through airports.  We weren't afraid we would miss our flight, and have to find another one, because Homeland Security was backed up.  And I didn't get have refried black beans and fried bananas with my breakfast this morning.  No, January 9th, 2010 wasn't much like January 9th, 2009.

Today, we moved at an easier pace.  We enjoyed each others company.  We played a little.  We watched a little t.v.  We even went out and played in the snow for a while today.  Things that we anticipated and longed for have now faded into routine.  Time has whirled passed us, and a year is gone.  Sophia is home, and at home.

She has taken ownership of her surroundings, and of us.  Everything is hers.  When she sees our house, she blurts out, "My house!"  The car, the t.v., the cat, all belong to her.  She has filled up our space with such vibrancy and excitement.  She is an explosion of life and joy.  At times it seems that only mere moments have passed, and then at other moments it feels as if thousands of years bloom out of each second.

The toddler that I had to stoop when assisting her walk, now runs around unaided.  The days of quite contemplation and one word phrases have been replaced with, "Come on, Daddy. Chase you me!"  There is no more bilingual begging to discern what she wants or needs.  She just tells us now.  She says things like, "Stallberwy Millk," and "Play wit me."  So much has changed in the last year.

I have changed in the last year.  Each day I learn a bit more about my capacities toward selfishness and toward love.  I doubt that I would have been able to see the depth of my own selfishness apart from having children.  Children truly need in a way that adults do not.  To rise to the occasion, and meet that need a parent must examine their priorities.  Once selfishness is exposed, there is only two routes one can take.  One can either combat selfishness, and put the needs of others first.  Or they could embrace the selfishness.

A person who rejects selfishness, grows in love.  Some days I feel like the post-Christmas Grinch with my heart growing by three sizes. Other days it feels like my heart shrinks by six sizes.  But the presence of children has to potential to stretch people.  It has the ability to make them stronger, better, more loving, and more caring.  It can also make them snap, especially when they aren't pliable enough.  It can make them weaker, bitter, more hateful, and more selfish.  Children aren't a cure-all.  They are a catalyst.  Children are agents of change, constant and perpetual change.  They force parents to react or respond, adapt or decline.

So it is no wonder that Sophia's presence has brought about change.  The question is, "Will I rise to the challenge?"  Will I respond to her presence, and be transformed into a better person?  O Lord, I hope so.  I find myself checking my motives more and more.  I question the impact my actions and attitudes will have on her heart.  I desire to be the man God would have me to be.  Since he has blessed me with Sophia, I can only assume that fatherhood is part of his plan for shaping me.  So as I seek to shape Sophia's heart, the Lord is shaping mine.  Although we are home, I know our journey hasn't come to its end, because life is a journey, not a destination.  I hope the year (and years) ahead permits me the opportunity to grow with my daughter.  I hope more children will not be far off.  Having drank deeply of the Lord's grace, I yearn for more.

Sophia Update

I know many of you are wondering how Sophia is doing so I thought I would post an update. She is full of life and energy. She has a tremendous sense of humor and a beautiful smile. She likes to play and loves to eat (most of the time). She sleeps through the night (again, most of the time) and naps during the day.

A Brief Family Update

This past weekend was full of excitement. Sunday morning, Monticello, hosted a welcome home fellowship for Delia, Sophia, and me. It was well attended by family, friends, and church family. The meal was excellent and the gifts were thoughtful. We appreciate the powerful display of love and concern for our family. We also had more family come in to meet Sophia yesterday. She really enjoyed being chased by her cousins. She is a very social baby. She enjoys interacting with people.

Returning to Normal

Things are drifting back to normal. Although, normal is different than it used to be. Where two dwelt, now three abide. Sophia is settling in. I preached yesterday and returned to work today. Sophia has enjoyed all the company and attention she received this weekend. It is wonderful to back home and to see life returning to normal. The next several days will probably be busy, but I'll post when I can.

A Blessed Life

It has been a rather quiet day here at home. Yes, at home, it feels good to be able to write those words. We have had several phone calls and some of our family has come for a visit. It is good to eat homecooked food. It was good to stretch out in my recliner. It is awesome to see my daughter sleeping in her bed, play with her toys, and filling our house with her presence. I am a man who has had more blessed days than most, I think. Unfortunately, I don't always see them at time, but when I reflect back I can see how truly fortunate I am.

Yesterday was a great day (but a little stressful, too). Sophia took the flight from Guatemala to Alanta good. She smiled and laughed a little on take off. I gave her little pieces of gum until we got to cruising altitude (don't panic mothers, doctors swear that gum doesn't bind up the intestines). She napped about an hour on the plane. She played with the guy sitting next to us, and the people sitting in front of us. She did pretty good until the last 30 minutes of the flight, when she decided it had been long enough--she wanted to run around.

We got to Atlanta and began the race to reenter the country. I say race because it is a time consuming ordeal to enter the country go through customs/immigration (which you have to do when you are adopting). We landed at 6:35 pm with a takeoff time of 8:00pm. Around 7:30 we handed our documents to one of the officers, who in turn put it stack along with several others. At 8:10 the called us to the desk, informed us that we were finished, and told us that at midnight she would offically be a U.S. citizen. We headed toward the reticket counter, because we were sure we lost our flight, when one of the workers informed us that our flight had been delayed and we had a few minutes to get to our gate. We handed our bags to some of the workers there and made a mad dash for our gate. The twenty minute delay which had purchased us just enough time to make it for last call turned into a fifty minute delay as we rounded the corner to our gate.

Sophia napped most of the flight from Atlanta to Nashville. When we finally got off the plane we were greeted by our parents and several members of our church family. I was so excited to see all of them. Their love was expressed in the simple act of holding signs, shouting welcome, and cry tears of joy. It is hard for me to into words the joy I felt. The image of that moment is etched into my mind. I will forever be grateful for outpouring of their love.

After sometime of catching up and showing off Sophia we retreated to the baggage claim. We concluded after they shut down the converyor belt and turned off the lights that our bags didn't make it to Nashville. However, a very helpful woman who worked in baggage claim informed me that at least two out of three of my bags were in route to Nashville. I was also informed that if I waited, and my third bag didn't show, they would mail it to me. So, I we waited. When the flight containing some of our luggage arrived I went to the conveyor to wait. God blessed us with the quick arrival of all three bags. And then we were off. We stopped at my mom and dad's for a late night snack (which was actually our lunch and supper) and then we headed home. A very tired, Sophia, was asleep when we got home (very late) and we put her in her little bed. After a little unpacking I laid down and reflected. Months of waiting, frustration, and prayer had finally come to fruition. Our little girl is home.

Home

Home! Well, almost. We've made a quick pit stop in Bowling Green for a bite to eat. We'll be home before too long. We were greatly surprised by a large group of family and church family at the airport. We were truly touched, we love you all.

Getting Ready

We are approximately twelve hours away from Nashville. We are in the process of getting ready so that we can head to the airport after breakfast. Our flight is scheduled to leave at 2:08 pm. Hopefully, we will see you all real soon.

Counting Down

Well, now we are counting down the hours until we are home. We are less than twenty-four hours away from departing Guatemala, and slightly more than twenty-eight hours from home. Looking back on this time, I can't help but thank the Lord for kindness toward us. These days have been filled with love, laughter, and dirty diapers. We have been homesick for awhile, but we have counted everyday as gift. We know that once we are home, we will have to pickup where we left off with all our other responsibilities. These days were special, in that, we have been able to focus specifically on building a relationship with our daughter. We look forward to seeing you all soon. God bless.

Sophia Update 1-7-09

Well, I have just gotten back from the Embassy. We now have Sophia's passport, with her visa in it, in hand. We are travel ready. When we get back into the states (Atlanta), we will give the packets they gave us to the immigration officers at the airport. At that time she will be a United States citizen. And then its all over but the flying (and driving). Lord willing, we will be back in Provo Friday night (late). Sophia's fever appears to be gone, but she is still not feeling well. Keep praying. We'll see you soon.

Approved

I apologize for not posting sooner. Let me start by stating what you really want to know: our appointment went good today. They approved our adoption and we pick up Sophia's visa tomorrow afternoon. Now for details of the day and the events of appointment.

We got up a little after five this morning. We have made friends with a woman who was in the process of finalizing her 2nd adoption. Her appointment was today as well. So we followed her to the embassy. We left around 6:30 am for our 7:15 appointment. Our cab dropped us off outside of the embassy (picture a gray concrete bunker) and we made our way through a sea of people, most of whom were their to get tourist visas. We were met by our lawyer's assistant who had held our place in line, and she began walking us through what would take place.

Then we entered the building, where our bag was searched thoroughly. Then we made our way into a medium sized waiting room. The lawyer's assistant took Sophia's passport and our money and went and stood in line. When she brought us our receipt, she told us they would call our name, we would line up at door number 10 (it was the only door in a row of windows). They call your name by number (we were #2) and then when one family comes out the next one goes in. They called our name and we went into door #10. Imagine a 2 ft. X 3 ft. room with two chairs facing a giant window, like at a gas station in a bad neighborhood. Then imagine a tiny speaker, set off to the side, that had been installed by a drive-thru speaker company.

They swore us in, asked us some questions, made a few corrections on one of our forms, and then had us initial the changes. During this process, Sophia decided she wanted to play high-5. She gave mommy a high-five, she gave daddy a high-5, and when the nice gentleman behind the glass said something abouting her giving high-5s, she turned and offered to give him five. He held his hand up to the glass, and she reached out and gave him five. He informed us that was "cool." And then it happened. He picked up this big rubber stamp, pressed it into a red ink pad, and then with gusto, he pounded the word "Approved" on our paper. The deed was done. No going back. The reality that we have know since December 2007, that Sophia was our daughter, became offically recognized by the United States government. We were congradulated and sent outside to wait for our next step.

We waited about fifteen or thirty minutes for them to call us again, this time to window eight (ventana ocho, for you bilingual types). They swore us in again, asked us a couple of questions, informed us that we could pick up Sophia's visa tomorrow around 3:30 pm. And we sat back down and waited for our friend to be called back. It is impossible to explain the sense of relief I felt. I listened to several of the families describe the horrors of their adoption. Several of them had waited between two and three years for this moment. They had struggle after struggle, problem after problem. Out of the few that I was able to meet several had nearly lost their children on more than one occassion. I couldn't help compare our experience with theirs and praise God for his grace. Our adoption, although it took over a year, went far faster and much smoother than most of the people we have met. God in his grace, brought us through, and now has taught us anew, how mighty his hand truly is.

After, our friend finished we went and ate breakfast together and then went to a little market to look at the "traditional" Guatemalan items (we bought a dress and blanket). Sophia was acting tired, so when we got back to the room we laid her down. She would lay awhile, and cry awhile. We think she has a fever. She slept most of the afternoon, but got up for supper. I was going to do this post while she napped, but my facebook account had a virus, so I had to download a virus scanner, run tests on the computer, delete the false posts from me on peoples facebook pages, change my passwords, and by the time I got most of that finished, Sophia need attention. I don't think we have ever been more grateful for your prayers today, especially in light of the fact that God taught us how powerfully he worked on our behalf. We are forever in your debt, we love you all very much. Please, keep praying for us. Pray that we will be the parents God called us to be. Pray for Sophia to feel better. Pray for our safe return. And please, praise our great God with us for his gracious kindness. God bless

Laughter

Laughter is a gift from God. I have always found a child's laughter raises my spirits. This photo is a rare capture. Sophia usually gets real serious when you pull out the camera. My prayer is that her days will be filled with moments like this one. I hope all of you are having a wonderful New Year's Day.

Different Points of View

This picture reminded me of a very important truth: parents and children often view the world through different eyes. I was showing Sophia a display case filled with toys. Can you guess which one of us liked the toys best?

A Funny

I'm sitting at the computer checking email and watch Delia and Sophia play, when Sophia gets up and comes to me. She grabs my finger and makes me stand. She then signals for me to pick her up, and then sit back down. She then instructs me to sit her next to the computer. She then begins going through all her books. She is a very smart, determined girl. Right now she is signalling me to go, so I'll update more later.

Day After Christmas Update

Shortly after my last post we lost internet. I assume the internet wanted to celebrate Christmas. Poor Sophia has had diarrhea since Christmas Eve. The transition seems to be going smooth, other than her tummy troubles. Yesterday, was "Mommy Day." Sophia didn't want Daddy to pick her up or carry her. She would, however, blow kisses at Daddy. She even went to sleep without a big struggle last night, but she didn't sleep through the night. All in all we had a wonderful Christmas. If I can update later I will. God Bless.

Photo of Sophia and Me

Here is a picture of Sophia and me. If you look closely you can see Santa in the background about to karate chop me. Fortunately, I survived the incedent unscathed. However, I will not be on Santa's "nice" list this year. All kidding aside we are having a wonderful Christmas Eve. We want you all to know that we love and miss you.

Smiles

We thought you all would like to see a picture of Sophia's beautiful smile. Although she smiles frequently it is hard to get it caught on camera, because she likes to move a lot. I think I have already lost two pounds.

All I Want for Christmas

The Lord has been teaching me how truly blessed I am. I have been blessed with many gifts. Here is a picture of two of the greatest gifts I have been given. We went to the mall today and then ate lunch at McDonald's (yes, McD is everywhere; although I'm not sure I'm loving it). Our little girl is contantly on the go, except when she is napping (She needs those naps). I'll post more photo's later. I hope you realize how blessed you are, and may God continue to bless you this Christmas season.

A Good Night to End a Great Day

Sorry I haven't posted sooner, but you can't have your cell phones turned on while you are on the airplane. Then I had to teach this computer and my phone Spanish before I could access the internet. The Lord blessed us with a safe trip and with Sophia's presence. We were hoping they would bring her today, but were not quite sure if they would. But we got her around 5:30 pm and have been busy every since. We had a tearful good by with her foster mother; I ask you to keep her and her family in your prayers. Our precious Sophia is resting quietly now. We have all had a long day. I had hoped to publish some pictures today, but we brought the wrong cord. I plan on taking some with my phone tomorrow, and now that it speaks Spanish I should be able to post them tomorrow (no promises).

Leaving on a Jet Plane

It's 3:30 in the morning, and we are at the Nashville airport. Thanks to all the waiting over the last several weeks I don't mind that there is nobody at the check-in, even though we are supposed to be here two hours early. We are just excited to be going to see our little girl. You all have a blessed Christmas.

The Pink Slip for Which We Have Been Waiting

This time of year (or any time) the term "pink slip" can cause a man to pause in his tracks. Rarely is the term a cause for joy. But, this pink slip doesn't concern our jobs. This pink slip is our appointment for Sophia's visa. We got confirmation today that our appointment is scheduled for January 6th. We are planning to leave the Monday before Christmas and return January 9th. We appreciate all your prayers, and ask you to continue to pray for safe travel, a joyous reunion, and a smooth appointment.