7 Lessons Learned While Building a Habit

I am working on building better habits. Bad habits seem to develop with little effort, and that is where they get there power. There is no conscious desire to start a bad habit. We just find something that we like (and shouldn't), and we keep doing it because we like it. For example, I eat when I get stressed. A lot of the time, I don't realize that I am feeling stressed or how much I am eating. The trigger-response automatic thinking drives habitual behavior.

The difficulty in forming good habits is that it requires conscious thought. One must decide to change, to think differently, and to overcome deeply ingrained patterns. You have to think about the new "habit" a lot. Old habits die hard (especially the worst ones). New habits are not easily formed, especially when they we haven't lost all our old desires. When the old desires and new desires meet on the battlefield of our wills, it is like to storm fronts clashing. Thing are bound to get tossed around.

But if we hold our ground, we'll weather the storm. The more we nurture the new desires that are shaping the new habits we want to form, the weaker our old desires will become. Be warned: old desires are like vampires in that they suck the life out of you and aren't easily killed (just when you think you laid that sucker to rest, he springs to life again). And if old habits are vampires, new habits are wild flowers--beautiful, but easily trampled on.

One of the new habits I have been working on relates to Bible reading. After years of following a daily Bible reading plan, I fell out of the habit. And for over a year, my Bible reading revolved around preparation for messages. At first, I didn't recognize what was happening. Then one day, I realized I was spiritually anemic. My heart and my faith were growing cold. I was discouraged and on the verge of despondency.

Yet in the midst of it all, God awakened me to an renewed desire for him. I knew that if I wanted to rekindle my faith, I would have to get into the Word and let the Word get into me. I had experimented with Dr. Grant Horner's Bible Reading Plan a couple of years ago, but fell behind, got discouraged, and gave up. But a little over a month ago, I felt compelled to revisit it. After some consideration, I adapted Dr. Horner's plan. I went from his 10 lists to 12. I adjusted some of the lists, such as the Prophets. On Dr. Horner's list you read Isaiah through Malachi. I broke it into two lists: the Major Prophets (Isaiah-Daniel) and the Minor Prophets (Hosea-Malachi).

Here is some of what I have learned in the past 31 days.

1. You have to make Bible reading a priority. As Christians we should be committed to reading the Scripture. If we don't make it a priority in our life like food and air, it won't get done as often as we hope.

2. To make it a priority, you have to set aside time for it. In spite of my persistent prayers for more time, God has seen fit to give me the same number of hours in my day as everyone else. I had to make changes in my schedule to make time for reading the Bible. I have a little girl and didn't want to interfere with spending time with her, so I had to chose a time when she was asleep. I opted for early mornings because she has a tendency toward rising early. Staying up late and having to get up early doesn't work well for me. I don't feel right if I get less than six hours sleep. Getting up early meant I had to kill my evening ritual of watching t.v. to "unwind." Now, if I'm up past 10 p.m., I start getting really tired (and a little cranky). If you are not used to getting up early in the morning move your alarm clock away from the bed.

3. You need to have a plan. My reading takes about 45 minutes, when I am fully awake and engaged. Sometimes, I takes longer (especially if I doze off). I follow Dr. Horner's advice and read quickly, not so quickly that I can't remember what I reading, but I don't take a lot of notes either. My Bible reading is just that, not studying. Determine what plan you want to follow. There are tons of them available. There are even special Bibles that are divided into daily readings. Make sure you keep track of what you have read. Set aside plenty of time for your reading. Most plans don't take more than 30 minutes a day (even for slow readers). Here is a helpful chart to help you keep track.


4. Approach it as a joy, and not a burden. Sometimes, people are tempted to think of necessary things as a burden. If we aren't careful, we will treat "having to do our Bible reading" as a chore. It is kind of like getting socks (or underwear) for Christmas. Most kids know there necessary, but they prefer toys and fun stuff. The Bible isn't Christmas socks. It is through the Scripture that we come to know our Lord and Savior.

5. Give yourself grace. If you have to split your reading up or if you doze off, don't get discouraged. Your building a habit that goes against your natural inclinations. It takes time. Lots of time. God is gracious in his invitation. He already accepts you in Christ. Don't be afraid. If he is willing to be patient with Gideon (and numerous others in Scripture), he won't run out of patience with you.

6. Find a way to keep you accountable. I have been telling people (like you the reader) about my experiment. It keeps you motivated because you never know when someone will say, "How is your reading going?"
 
7. Don't break the chain. I read an article sometime back to talked about Jerry Seinfeld's secret to success. Ultimately, it was a simple commitment to daily practice--get a calendar, mark the days you practice with an "x", once you have a chain of "x"s don't break the chain.


In the end, what matters is that you get into the Bible. You can follow any plan. You can use an audio Bible. Stick with it until you couldn't imagine skipping a day. May the Lord bless your time in his Word.

Why Isn't It Working?

I have heard many Christians say, "I've been praying. I wonder why it isn't working." An atheist would scoff, and say it is because there is no one there to hear our prayers. But how is the believer to respond?

If we buy into what some churches are teaching, we might conclude that God's greatest desire for us is our happiness. There are many professing Christians today who believe God doesn't want us to suffer hardship or want. They believe that God will remove every obstacle from their path so they can march to heaven on an easy path. Within this kind of thinking, unanswered prayer leaves the believer confused.

However, the Bible teaches a different way of understanding. We are promised tribulation in this world. The rest we yearn for is still yet to come, so we plod along relying on our Lord. God's great desire for believers is their holiness, not their happiness. Hardships teach us perseverance, and perseverance, when we have learned it well, produces faith.

It doesn't take much to make a child (or some adults) happy. You just have to give them what they want, when they want it. Holiness requires more. To be holy, one must often go against their own nature. They must deny themselves some of their desires. It takes effort, but holiness is what God demands from all people. Once the taste for holiness is required, it brings happiness. But until we do the hard work of waiting, learning, and growing, we will never experience lasting holiness or happiness.

With this backdrop, let us return to the opening question. Why do some prayers go unanswered? Charles Bridges, a pastor in the 1800s, addressed as similar question his book, The Christian Ministry. While his initial question was more concerned with why ministry isn't always as fruitful as one would hope, his answer applies here. He stated,

But why is this promised blessing withheld?--"Even so; Father; for so it seemth good in they sight." Yet we must not slumber in acquiescence without self-inquiry. Do we fervently seek and cherish this influence? Do we actively "stir up the gift of God which is in us?" Above all, does our pulpit set out that full exhibition of our Divine Master, which alone commands this heavenly blessing? The encouragement of prayer and faith are always the same. God is indeed absolutely sovereign in the distribution of his blessing; but by his command to seek, he has pledged himself, that we shall not seek in vain. Having freely promised, he will faithfully perform. Let all means be used in diligence, but in dependence--in self-denial, but in self-renunciation.

So the simple answer to our question is that God doesn't answer because he has chosen to hold back. The reasoning may escape us in the present (and possibly in the future), but we must push forward. When every effort has been made, every motive examined, every sin confessed, yet there is no discernible reason for our lack of success, we must trust in God's sovereign wisdom. He is worthy of our undying trust, even when we don't know what he is doing.

Pray Like It's on Him, Work Like It's on Him, Too!

I watched Healed by Grace the other night. It was a movie about a girl who gets injured in a car wreck, has her dreams of being a dancer crushed, but find outs God had other plans for her. It was a pretty good movie (but this isn't a movie review). During one scene, the chorus of the song playing in the background said something like, "Pray like it's on him, work like it's on you."

The words resonated with me. Too often Christians are afraid means. I'm not talking about mean people, but the instrument or method used to obtain an end. We forget that God in his sovereign wisdom not only ordains ends (what's going to happen), but the means (ways) in which they come about. Without straying too far off course let me say, that God does not cause sin, nor can he sin (there is a much larger conversation to be had at this point, but I will save it for another post). My point about means is that when God calls us to pray, it is because he means it to bring about its purpose.

The expression, "pray like it's on you, work like it's on him," captures the responsibility of the believer to appropriate God's means in order to bring about God's purposes. There is another expression I have heard frequently, "Put legs to your prayers." It means we have to do more than pray. For example, if you have a friend who is an unbeliever, it is right and good to pray for them to come to faith. However, they still need the hear the message of Christ, if they are to believe. Paul said, "How can they believe in one of whom they have never heard?" So praying for the unbeliever is good (and necessary), but we must also tell them about Jesus.

Many believers today have come to believe that effort is a sign of weak faith. One might reason, if I have to work at it, I don't really believe. While in some cases, such reasoning may be true, it is clearly false in the vast majority of cases. Throughout the Bible the natural life is used as an analog for the Christian life. What I mean is that Paul and other can talk about believers as infants, children, young men (and women), and elders. Life, whether physical or spiritual, is a maturing process. In life, there is always effort being exerted.

People who are waiting for the Lord to make things happen in their life need to carefully consider if they are using the appropriate means that God appointed. Praying for clean clothes might work for a family that lost everything in a house fire or a homeless person because they have no other means to get those things. But a person who has the means to have cleans cloths (cloths, washer, detergent, water, etc.), shouldn't expect God to do their laundry for them.

Often times believers feel frustrated with the lack of growth in their spiritual life, but fail to make the connection between their lack of Bible study, meditation, prayer, and worship. True, even the most devout experience spiritual dryness at times. But most frequently, when our spirits grow cold it is because we have turned away from the all-consuming fire, that is our God (Heb. 12:29). If we were to use God's appointed means of worship, study, prayer, fellowship, etc., we would discover our lives rekindled and our maturity increasing.

Effort should be expected in the Christian life. God has been driving home the truth of Philippians 2:12-13 to me in recent months. Paul states, "Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure" (Phil. 2:12-13). These verses teach us  at least two things two things: God expects us to work and he grants us what we need to get the work done.

While the quote, "Pray like it's on him, work like it's on you," offers us a glimpse of our responsibility, it might be better for us to say, "Pray like it's on him, work like it's on him." Paul demonstrates this pattern in several places. "I can do all things through him who strengthens me" (Phil. 4:13). "For this [to present everyone mature in Christ] I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me" (Col. 1:29). "Such is the confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life" (2 Cor. 3:4-6).

You might be tempted to think (or say), "If it is all up to God, then why do I need to do anything?" The short answer is because that is what God said to do. For a longer answer, consider what I've said about means and ends. If we don't use God's appointed means, we cannot achieve God's appointed end. I am not implying that we can somehow stop God's plan. As Mordecai reminded Esther, "For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this"(Esther 4:14).

So, pray hard. God delights in answering the prayers of his people, and has appointed them to pray so that he might display his grace in answering them. And work hard, but not in your strength alone. None of us are sufficient in our own strength, but God's grace is sufficient for us. As you labor, remember that you do not toil alone, for God is at work in you to will and work for his good pleasure. In the end, we need to "Pray like it's on him, and work like it's one him," too!