You Got a Friend

There are times in life in which we need encouragement. In his last letter, John writes to a friend who appears to be struggling through difficult circumstances. In 3 John 1:1-4, John offers his friend a reminder of his affection and appreciation. This passage reminds us that we need to pray for and encourage one another.  Here are a few things we can learn from John's example.

• We need to reach out to those in need. Third John is a letter to John's "dear friend" or "beloved" Gaius. John's friend appeared to be in hot water with Diotrephes, a church leader, because he helped some missionaries. John reaches out to encourage him.

• We need to let others know that we are praying for them to remain strong. John acknowledges Gaius' strength and prays that God would continue to bless him. John wanted the spiritual fruit he witnessed in his friend to fill all of his life.

• We need to rejoice in their faithfulness. John had gotten word that Gaius was remain faithful to sound doctrine and sound living. He believed the truth, and lived it. When we see others holding to the faith and walking in it, we should rejoice also.

• We need to tell them how important they are to us. John says that Gaius' faithfulness is the source of his highest joy. These are words of encouragement. He wants Gaius to know that he sees the importance of what Gaius is doing. 

Implications:

• Pray holistically--pray for the spiritual life, as well as the physical life.
• Pray hopefully--pray for what you would like to see in their life.
• Keep an ear open to hear people praising others.
• Speak the praise of others.
• Rejoice when others are believing and living the truth.
• Live and believe the truth.

The Benefits of Friendship

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up.  But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" (Eccl. 4:9-10).

As in all Scripture, there is much truth in these verses.  Solomon is here lamenting the foolishness of friendlessness.  It is a sad thing to have no friends.  A person without friends is not only destined for loneliness, but grief.  Their life lacks the joy of socialization. 

Solomon says, two make quicker work of a job with half of the energy spent.  He goes on to say, "If you fall in a pit and no one is there to help you, you're stuck.  However, if you have someone there, rescue is more likely.

I have walked the path of the loner.  Throughout much of my youth, I didn't have a lot of friends.  I was well acquainted with several people, we talked at school, we had some of the same interests, but I never really entrusted myself to them.  I was always afraid of being betrayed or getting hurt.   I'm not saying I didn't have friends I could trust.  I did, but not many of them.


Solomon says that isolation tends toward self-destruction, not self-preservation.  Pride often keeps us cut off from others, because we fear how they will perceive us.  We fear their judgment more than we value their friendship.

Friendship is a gamble, but it is a glorious one.  When you venture out into the world you have the chance to know and be known in a way binds you to others.  You get the opportunity to enjoy a fabulous meal with good company (which foreshadows heaven).  You get to share your load with others.  And yes, you risk the dangers of betrayal and pain, but what you gain in the bargain is worth the risk.

I grateful for the friends with whom Jesus has blessed me.  What about you?  Have you found some really good friends that you count on?  Or have you tried to protect yourself from the potential heartache friendships might bring?

Abiding Friendships

I recently spoke to an old high school buddy. He was bringing me up to date on some of the people we went to school with. I had to get out my old yearbooks to put faces with names. Talking to him reminded me that most of my relationships in high school were acquaintanceships. I didn't really know many people outside of class. I didn't hang out with many people outside of school nor did I take part in many after school activities. I had a small band of friends that I trusted and hung out with, but for the most part I stayed to myself.

I left high school the day of graduation. I don't mean that I simply stopped going to school. I mean that I left those times (and troubles) behind as I moved forward. My high school experience was not one of glory and joy. I felt out of place, like that odd sock in the back of your drawer that you can't remember buying, wearing, or where the other one went. I realize now that those feelings were part and parcel of being a teenager, but for me I found it very difficult to entrust myself to anyone. Again, I don't mean to imply that I didn't have any meaningful relationships, but while I accepted many, I only trusted a few.

I realize now that this was a defense mechanism meant to protect me from getting hurt. However, it also prevented me from really getting to know people. I was so afraid of getting caught in the crossfire of life, that I sat out a big part of mine. We approach church life much the same way I approached high school. We build a network of acquaintances when we should be building friendships. Life is messy. There is no escaping that fact. If we are to love like Jesus, we must move beyond surface level relationships. We need to bond in such a way that we can empathize with each other. To paraphrase Paul, "Cry together in hardship; rejoice together in blessing."

Church is not some temporary stepping stone to the next level of life. The Church is the training ground for life in the kingdom. We are preparing for eternity together with the Lord. But, we will also be together with our fellow believers. There exists between believers an inseparable union. They are united in Christ and that bond cannot be broken. An old hymn asks, "Will the circle be unbroken?" The reality is that many family circles will be broken. I do not say that they will be broken to discourage anyone. Continue to pray for and witness to your lost family members; the Lord may save them. The simple fact is that not all will be saved. This reality is one of the reasons we must seek to preserve the unity of the church. It is the circle of the Church that shall go unbroken.

We must seek deep and abiding relationships with fellow believers, because those relationships are eternal. How do you treat the family and friends you are close to? Do you call them daily? Write/email them? Eat with them? Hang out? Now let me ask: Is there any one in your church (that you aren't related to) that you do these same things with. There should be. A believer cannot live long in isolation without feeling the effects on his faith. We need each other for strength. The church needs to be a place where every believer feels like they belong, and not like some odd sock tossed in the drawer, alone and ignored. I encourage you to get in there and get messy. Start making friendships that will last forever.