Forgiving in Perspective

What does it mean to forgive? When we forgive, we release the guilt of another. We cease to judge them for the offense, pain, or injury they have caused us. In Matthew 18:23-35, Jesus teaches us that forgiveness is the only right response to the grace of God. In one sense, forgiving isn't forgetting. Apart from disease, toxins, or trauma, there aren't many ways to erase a memory from the brain. In another sense, forgiving is forgetting. It is forgetting in the sense that we don't dwell on incident, and we don't wield another's past crimes as a weapon against them.

Jesus tells a parable about a slave who owes his master an unimaginable amount of money, yet has no way to repay it. When his account is called due, he begs for mercy. Mercy, beyond his dreams, is what he receives. He celebrates his good fortune by accosting a man who owes him money, and has the poor fellow tossed in prison when he can't pay. When the first slave's master hears of his cruelty, he revokes his mercy and tosses him into prison.

Here are some things this passage teaches us:

God would be totally just to condemn the entire human race to hell. We have all broken his law, and disobeyed his will. We are all deserving of death. Yet, God in his mercy has shown us grace. Grace is unmerited favor. Unmerited means it isn't because we deserve it. Just as the king had a right to sell of his slave to recoup his losses, God could have easily discarded us, but he didn't. He extended mercy to us.

When we receive the grace of God, it should evidence itself in a changed heart. The first servant in this parable was some piece of work. In spite of his master's grace, he himself had none to spare. He never paused to think of the magnitude of the gift he was given. He was a violent and wicked man.

Live the golden rule. This man got in trouble because he failed to treat others in the way he wished to be treated. He wanted to receive mercy, but he didn't want to give any. If we want grace, we need to extend grace to others.

Nothing has been done to you, that is greater to (or equal to) what has been done for you. The worst act in human history would be the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. In that act, we see the depth of depravity of which mankind is capable. However, God did not condemn mankind because of the cross. No, he determined to save mankind through the cross. The pains and offenses we face in our lives don't compare to the cross.

You reap what you sow. Matthew 18:35 isn't suggesting salvation by works. It is expressing another truth, the truth that a man reaps what he sows. God isn't fooled by the attempts of some people to fake remorse. He knows the heart. The heart that refuses to forgive has never experienced God's forgiveness. Forgiveness is a mandate. As we forgive, we walk in the footsteps of our Heavenly Father and our brother, Jesus Christ. It puts forgiving in perspective.

A Different Approach

How do you forgive someone when they betray you? When they hurt you? Or do any number of hurtful things to you? These questions aren't easy to answer. We know the biblical answer is to forgive, but how do we accomplish it? I'm still searching for the definitive answer, but I think we can come at it from a different approach.

We need to approach the process of forgiveness by being rooted in our identity. In Colossians 3:12-14, Paul sets a standard for church which is helpful for us as followers of Christ. The standard says, recognize who you are and live accordingly.

Colossians 3:12 describes us as a "chosen people," "holy," and "dearly loved." The expression, "chosen" tends to make many Christians bristle. They don't like the thought of election (predestination), because they think it violates human freedom and smacks of unfairness. However, the Bible teaches that God chose a people for himself, and that we, as Christ's followers, are chosen by God.

Election shouldn't freak us out. It should encourage us. It means that God knew us before he formed us, that he loved us before he made us, that he has a purpose for our existence, and that he has numbered our days. It means God picked us, but not because we were special or perfect or impressive. He picked us because he loved us, he pursued us because he picked us, and he set us apart for his special purposes.

He has made us holy. Holy, in this context, refers to us being set apart. We are God's special possession. He delights in us. We are objects of his love. In fact, Paul says we are dearly loved. Let that sink in. God love you dearly.

We are told to approach forgiveness in the right "garments." Like the Joseph, in the Old Testament, we are given a "coat of many colors.' His was a robe that expressed his Father's delight in him. Ours is a character that reflects our Father's character. We are to clothe ourselves in compassion, kindness, gentleness, humility, and patience. In short, we are to treat others as God has treated us.

In Colossians 3:13, we are told to bear with and forgive those who hurt us. We are called to endure the grating personalities of others, and meet them with grace. We are to forgive "whatever grievances" we might have, and we are to forgive as the Lord forgave us. It is a complete, reconciling forgiveness.

The thread that holds it all together is love. Colossians 3:14, tells us to cover over all our other qualities with love. It is the bond for perfect peace. The walk of love is a different approach, but it is the only one that will lead to lasting peace.

How has forgiveness transformed your life? If it hasn't already, are you willing to let it transform you life now?