Have you ever wanted to quit praying for somebody? Maybe you were like, "Lord, they're just not worth it." Or "They're hopeless. Why bother?" Yes, I know that seems like such terrible thing to say. Even if we don't voice our frustrations with their lies and lack of repentance, we often (silently) stop praying for those who rub us the wrong way. But is that biblical. Is it ever right to stop praying for someone?
1 John 5:16-17 helps us answer that question. John speaks about a sin that doesn't lead to death, and the remedy for that situation is prayer. When we see a believer wondering in sin, we pray and God grants them life. This promise hints at restoration. However, John warns that there is a sin that leads to death. Here he doesn't instruct us to pray which implies that he doesn't intend for us to.
We are not to pray for those who sin the sin that leads to death. We are left wondering the exact nature of that sin. Unfortunately, we do not possess the same level of familiarity with John's teaching that the early church had. They would have understood the context of this from previous lessons John had taught. We are left to guess, but not wildly.
There have been several attempts to understand John's meaning. Some have understood the sin that leads to death is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. That sin is unpardonable, but the context of this passage doesn't lead us to immediately conclude that John had it in mind. Other have suggested that John was dividing sin into categories of degree (later called mortal and venial). Some have thought that John was speaking about sin that brought immediate consequences. Others have thought that he was thinking about apostasy, or falling from the faith. The immediate contact suggests that he may have been thinking about idolatry (see 1 John 5:18-21).
It may have been that John was warning the church about idolators. The presence of idolators among God's people has a corrupting influence. John is saying don't pray for those who abandon Christ to follow false gods. They have choose their path, they must learn the hard way.
It would appear that there is a time to stop praying for individuals who sin the sin that leads to death. However, it is not clear exactly what that sin is, or how we will know when they are practicing it. Here are some practical implications from this passage:
- Our gut-level instinct (default position) should be to never stop praying. In 1 Samuel 12:23, Samuel explains that failure to pray for God's people would be a sin against God. Prayer is an ordained means to God's ends. God has appointed prayer as a vehicle through which to move his people. If we neglect it, we are being disobedient.
- It is possible that not praying for an individual leaves them in Satan's hands. In 1 John 5:18-19, John speaks of the evil one and of the fact that he can touch those who are not God's children. Paul speaks of handing people over to Satan in 1 Corinthians 5:5 and 1 Timothy 1:19-20. The individuals mentioned by Paul in those passages were caught up in unrepentant sin. However, he doesn't speak of praying for their restoration, but rather of their being handed over. Paul's goal was redemptive, not destructive.
- We should only stop praying for someone when God tells us to stop. Jeremiah 7:17 speaks of an event where God commands Jeremiah not to pray. Unless we have an equally clear command from God, we shouldn't quit praying. We might be led to pray a lifetime for someone before God opens their heart. But if God tells you it is time to quit praying, quit praying. Until then, persevere in prayer.
We may never get to the end of the road in prayer. God may have appointed us to pray for those individuals for whom no other is appointed. If we stop prematurely, we sin against God, and it might also be that we are leaving them in the devil's hands.
